Aarons Hands

Today we started printing and binding our LaunchPad curriculum.  Jace is one of the wonderful staff in my department and in her words she is a “binding beast”….she has been printing and binding since she was an intern with us in 2008.  Today, as she was printing, she called me to tell me that there was a “hiccup” with the Duplo machine that we use to print the curriculum.  I loved that Jace called it a hiccup!  We got over the hiccup eventually and our interns were able to coallate and start binding the curriculum.  It is such a blessing to know that all of this work will pay off with hundreds of students getting their own discipleship books.

Next week we go to schools to promote LaunchPad with a skit and then classes start the following week.

Will you take a few minutes to pray for our 6 classes, interns, and interpreters?

So, if you know me at all you know that I come from a long line of people who struggle with self discipline. I very calmly blame my parents for being TOO NICE to me as a child and doing EVERYTHING for me. Many would say that I was spoiled, I would say that I was…uh..over-loved?  When I went off to college I had never cooked, never done a load of laundry, never ironed ANYTHING and had rarely made a bed or cleaned my room.

I know…crazy, eh? So, my excuse for my lack of self discipline was that never had discipline in the frst place…so how could I have learned to apply it to myself.  Now that I am ….uh, in my EARLY 30’s (hanging on my a thread) I am willing to drop the excuses.

My pastor in TX, David says ” DESIRE, DISCIPLINE, DELIGHT”. I have heard that for over 10 years and I am guessing my desire wasn’t strong enough because I have NEVER made it o delight.  So my theme for 20-10 is…”Trying again”…or ..”Getting Thin in 20-10″.

With my cool new iPhone I have a few apps to help me with a FITNESS CHALLENGE.  My goal is to loose 1.5 lbs a week for….well, the rest of my natural life….okay, hopefully not that long…but long enough .

My app helps me keep a FOOD LOG…yep, if it goes in my mouth it goes in the app.

For exercise I am doing a program called FROM COUCH to 5k which is interval training….I am doing Turbo Kick on rainy days and in between….and I am participating in the Thrive Challenge (all the staff and interns)….which means I am also doing situps, push ups and squats a day! WOW!

I wanted to let you all (two people that read this) know what I am up to.  So the exciting news?

I have already lost 10 lbs….AND I am learning how to make better choices.  Please keep me in your prayers…I NEED A lifestyle change and I am ready for this!

Uh…feel free to ask how it is going as time goes on….

When I was a tour guide in Washington DC, I took many groups to the Holocaust museum and I learned a lot about the importance of remembering.  The basic theme of the museum/memorial is to REMEMBER so that it doesn’t happen again.  When President Eisenhower was General Eisenhower, he was responsible for planning and leading the invasion on France and Germany with the Allied Forces in WWII.  Something that I remember was that He visited a concentration camp and wrote this about that experience,

The things I saw beggar description…The visual evidence and the verbal testimony of starvation, cruelty and bestiality were…overpowering…I made the visit deliberately in order to be in a position to give first-hand evidence of these things if ever, in the future, there develops a tendency to charge these allegations merely to ‘propaganda.’

He made sure that the Allied forces documented what happened. It is hard for me to believe that anyone would not believe that this really happened, but there are people out there. In fact, while I was in DC as a guide I turned on the news one morning to reports of a DePaul professor who was teaching that the Holocaust never happened that it was all made up.  I was shocked and it made me thankful for all of the documentation.

It has only been in the last few years that I have been interested in History at all. I have realized that History, whether biblical, national, political, or social….is IMPORTANT.  I need to know and remember my forefathers…Abraham, Isaac and Jacob….I need to know about Columbus, the Revolutionary War, George Washington, all of the wars and the whys, I need to know about imprisonments, ideals upheld or denied….I need to know this about history so I can make history by having a future.

Personally, I forget the importance of this.  It is easy for me to sit and remember my father. He was a great dad and an average man.  He made mistakes and I remember them as well…because I am more like him than I ever could have imagined.  He was gentle, kind, loving, self sacrificing….but he also was emotional, had a temper, and sometimes didn’t do the most rational thing. He didn’t manage his money the best that he could have and he didn’t really know what loving discipline was.  He struggled with self control…whether with food, finances, emotions, health, etc…… truth is, I do to.

I hurt the people I love more than I ever would want to admit….but I have to admit it. I have to REMEMBER or there will never be change.

Then there is God.  I need to REMEMBER that “His GRACE is suffiecient” that even if everyone else leaves, “He will never leave me or forsake me”, and that I am saved, sanctified and rigtheous because of HIS BLOOD and nothing else.  I need to remember that there is nothing I can do to make HIM love me any less and there is nothing I can do to make HIM love me anymore than HE does at this very moment.

I don’t know about you, but when I fail I tend to forget those things about God. I forget WHO HE IS and I FORGET WHO I AM.  I get in a hole.  I remember that in my  past the hole was much deeper and it seemed like I would never get out…now, it is usually more like a trench….but I still lay there for a day or two trying hard to remember, what it seems I have completely forgotten.

I got in a hole last week.  Right or wrong isn’t important….but the truth is I fell in a hole that should have been a small bump. I should have seen the mistake clearly….repented…received correction and gotten back up…BECAUSE OF WHO HE IS. I should have…..   I didn’t.

Just now, I see. I still don’t understand really what happened.  I still need God to find the root to why I get tripped up by holes like the one I fell in….I am looking forward to the day that I can JUMP over it.  However, I see that I laid there way to long. Do you know what made me see? Was it fasting or intense prayer or bible study? No. I did pray and I did read my bible…but what really did it was….

Remembering. Two of the girls that I poured into (they are actually women just a few years younger than me) back in TX contacted me last night.  They reminded me that God used me in their lives. By talking to them about their lives now, I was reminded of many tears shed on their behalf and of many prayers prayed. Talking to them reminded me that when I was “helping” them, I was getting help from my mentor. I remembered that  God can use me….that I am worthy. I was reminded of  who I WAS….and therefore…who I AM.

So…my encouragement to you today…is to REMEMBER.

Tonight when I got home, I was cold, wet, and feeling less than myself.  I hurt someone I love (isn’t that always the way) and instead of feeling better it of course made me feel worse.  I changed my clothes and grabbed the heater and then opened my computer.  As I sat on the couch, surfing the net, I realized that a friend of mine was logged in on Skype. When she didn’t answer her skype, I called her cell phone.

This friend has two small children and lives in a time zone that is 10 hours behind me, so catching her with a moment to answer the phone is..well..rare.  She answered. She answered because she was sitting waiting for an appointment to begin, so the kids weren’t with her.  We talked for a few minutes and then we prayed together. This is different than praying for eachother…yes, our concerns were included in the prayer….but it felt like for 5 minutes we were in the same room seeking the Lord together….like the old days.  And she prayed something and said, “like Charlene always prays”…..and I started to cry.

She prayed, that she would “Hear HIM clearly, and obey HIM directly”. This used to be my daily confession….my daily prayer.  I was convicted years ago of my tendancy to hear God say amazing things to me and then….delay on obeying or not obey at all.  So, I realized it wasn’t good enough to hear God and EVENTUALLY obey…..but I needed to obey directly…or immediately.

Clearly, I have forgotten to pray for this in a while. Forgive me God for not listening sometime, but more importantly not obeying immediately. I don’t want to delay anymore, but I need your help to do it.

It has been a busy month….my “vacation”. In less than four weeks I have been to 5 states, helped decorate for a wedding, closed business bank accounts, opened new accounts, trained a new office person (well started at least), had 4 Christmas celebrations, went to Dave and Buster’s twice and Chuck E Cheese once, made a ginger bread house, hugged lots of necks, talked on the phone to far away friends and now….. I am headed home..to move into my new place, start work (did I ever finish?) and REST!

I love coming to the US…but I love living on my farm…in my little corner of SA, too.

Queens is this great borough in NYC.  One that I have never really thought about until now.  I have given tours of parts of Manhattan, sure….and I have been to through Queens to get to the airport, sure….but I just thought it was like the rest of NY.  I just have to say, I love Queens.  Seriously. My friends live in an area called Sunnyside and it has everything you want in a neighborhood, except parking!   Easy access to the train, a zillion ethnic restaurants, nice people, several grocery stores, and even some good pubs.  I came here for work, but besides the extreme hassle of parking (next time, I am taking the train all the way)….it was a blissful experience. I love all of the small communities within a community.  It reminded me of Cairo (I know…strange)….but really. I loved being with my friends in Egypt.  Train rides, communities, sitting around hanging out over drinks….just like Queens.

Last night I met them in Manhattan…..I took the train by myself…so easy…and safe. I used to say when people asked me about the safety of  Cairo that I felt safer there than in NYC by myself. But the other night at about 9pm I walked to a restaurant for take out and I felt so safe….so I must have meant Manhattan.  The speed is so different here than downtown….it is real with real people.

Now I know that I not only liked the humor of my fake UPS guy on King of Queens, but I liked that he was in Queens…who knew.  Thanks for the experience and hosting me…Nat and Eric….I will be back!

Today I was in Qwa Qwa for a meeting, but since it costs over $30 in gas to get there, I caught a ride in with the new Leadership Summit Director, June.  While I was running a few errands, I decided I should stop by the Orphanage that the Next Step Interns worked at this summer.  

I went to see the Social Worker that runs the place and was pleased that she had a few minutes to chat with me.  As I sat there in her office, she told me stories of the children and how she really wants to help the families that they come from….most of the kids have homes, just dysfunctional ones.  As we talked, I had the thought to tell her about LaunchPad.  One of my “new” jobs is the LaunchPad director for 2010 and so I asked her where her older kids went to school and it happens to be near one of our LaunchPad classes. She wrote it down and said that she thinks that their transport can drop the kids off and then pick them up for class.  I was excited and I told her that we would be teaching “Love, Sex, and Relationships” at this school…and she said, ” I will make sure they come!”  She then told me that they had a 15 year old girl who was missing for 4 days….they found out that she was staying with her boyfriend. She doesn’t know what to do to help this young girl see her true worth, it is hard because of what she has had to live through already in her 15 years.

As we talked the phone rang, and while she was on the phone I glanced around the room and on her board with certificates and professional photos, was

the card I made her in July.  I was so blessed to see that she not only kept it, but put it in a place to remember that she really is a STAR and is highly valued.  I love that Nombeko (the Social Worker) really cares for the kids and she trys to use the resources she is given to make a difference…she even thinks outside of the box. She really is a star and she brightened up my dreary (the weather that is) day with her smile and friendship!

A few years ago, my mom told me that she ran into an old teacher of mine at Wal-mart and in the course of the conversation the teacher asked if I was married. My mom, said that I wasn’t and that I didn’t want to get married.  Huh, this was news to me…. I actually have always wanted to get married.  My mom figured that since my sole purpose or goal wasn’t on dating or marriage that it meant I wasn’t interested.

Since then I have contemplated my realtionships, few though they may be, I learned a lot from them. I was nearly proposed to at 20 (long story) and have met only two men in my life that I was interested in marrying.  I enjoyed my Twenties….I traveled, I laughed, I met friends who have remained close for almost 15 years…..but I can’t help but wonder…WHEN?

I had a single friend, ask one of my married friends…WHY? “Why should I want to get married?”  See, I don’t believe that he would “complete” me because I am truly complete in Jesus…as trite as that may sound.  I have always said that I want that best friend…someone I can laugh with, love with, minister with. The single friend I just referred to, got married this year at 32….and I truly believe she married her best friend (yep…I was replaced ).

If it weren’t for my two best friends, I don’t know thatI would have much hope in marriage.  I say that because I have known more “great couples” who did everything “right” and are now divorced or in the process of divorce than I ever want to think about.  Most of them got married in their early 20’s…that is true, but still….how do I know it will even last.  I guess, I don’t know, I can only hope and live like it would.  Fortunately, my two closest friends married at 27 and 32 and their marriages are strong (even with a mess of kids)…this gives me hope for it lasting.

Most of the time I can rejoice with others….even those much younger than me who are getting married. I find myself praying for the success of their marriage…that they are working on their relationships and taking them seriously and not just getting caught up in the emotion of the romance.  Sometimes, for split second I wonder when a new announcement is made…”when will it be my turn?” and then I pray for patience and let go once again and trust the One who holds my heart in His hands. I don’t doubt that I am a “good catch”….I know I am.  I just don’t know when I will get caught…and I read this article tonight that made me think about this in the first place…..very interesting.

I can only live today and enjoy it and try to become the person I would want to marry…so that when we find eachother we are ready to move forward together….

It is amazing how quickly things can change. With one conversation, with one blast of light to a situation and years of history can be rewritten…or so it feels.

I am happy that God is close to the broken hearted. I read the note below from one of my favorite devotionals…..

Behold, I have sent you out alone, but I have gone ahead to prepare your way;

yes, through the darkness to bear a light.

I ask you only to follow Me, for I will surely lead you in a safe path, though dangers lurk on every hand.

Yes, I will be your protection. I will be your comfort. I will be your joy.

I will turn the bitter tear to sweet purfume.

By My Spirit, I will mend the broken heart.

I will pour warm, fragrant oil into the deep wound. For My heart is fused with your heart,

and in your grief, I am one with you.

Yes, I will fill the vacant place.

My arms shall hold you, and you will not fall.

My grace shall sustain you, and you will not faint.

My joy shall fortify your spirit even as a broken body is rejuvenated by a blood transfusion.

My smile shall dispel the shadows, and My voice shall speak courage.

Yes, I will surely keep you, and you will not know fear.

You shall rest your foot upon the threshold of heaven. I shall hide you in My pavilion.

I am overwhelmed by His love for me. I know that He is healing my heart evennow…..and I am thankful!